When a child tests a parent's authority and the parent sets a limit, the child learns to control himself.
What can parents do to counter the bullying and reverse patterns that may already be set?
Grover: Parents committed to working on themselves rarely fall victim to continued bullying.
When those limits and boundaries aren't set clearly, you'll soon find yourself at a tipping point for bullying. Bullying, on the other hand, is aggressive, hostile, and mean.
It involves verbal assaults, physical aggression, putdowns, and unrelenting abuse. The bullies in the schoolyard are no different from the child bullying her parent at home: Both will stop at nothing to get what they want.
You may not see it when they are young, but as they get bigger and feel more powerful, it will resurface with a vengeance. Grover: The true cause springs from parents' own histories—how they were parented, their childhood experiences, and the modeling that their parents provided. Were they bullied as children by their own parents? I also look at what's going on in parents' lives: Are they in an unhappy relationship? Three parenting styles are most likely to trigger bullying in children.
Did they grow up with an absent or neglectful parent? Does their partner have a different parenting style? In your book you provide a training ground for new skills and a road back to sanity for parents bullied by their kids.
Until they are taught limits and boundaries, the parent-child relationship is doomed. Establish a culture of mutual respect in your family.
The question most parents ask when their child of any age rebels or become difficult is: How does pushing the limits and seeking independence cross the line to bullying? Help your kid to express frustration constructively.
How does a parent recognize that they have a bully in the house?