On the other hand, more general compliments seem to work well: is almost always used to describe the way something or someone looks, and you can see how that works out. After all, the way you choose to start your initial message to someone is the “first impression of your first impression.” The results surprised us: perform better, bucking the general “be literate” rule.
In fact, it’s smarter to use no traditional salutation at all (which earns you the reply rate of 27%) and just dive into whatever you have to say than to start with all did very well.
Although the data shows this advice holds true for both sexes, it’s mostly directed at guys, because they are way more likely to talk about looks.
It's the second message that he uses to really get them interested. One that ALWAYS ensured a reply back was "I hope you aren't racist". I guess they always replied so that they could validate themselves somewhat so that they don't feel guilty or racist if they didn't reply. The line I've been using to message chicks is: "Hey I checked out your profile and you seem cool. " By saying I checked out their profile it implies that I did actually check them out which I didn't, I just look at their pictures.
Anytime a girl has an obvious travel photo, it's an easy opener: "looks like you've done some traveling, where are you going next" "what places are on your 2014 travel bucket list" If you recognize the city (NYC can be super obvious) "I was just in NYC, had a blast, how did you like it" etc. I word it like this: "hmmm, you kinda look like you could be trouble" or if she looks super slutty I'll be more direct: "yup, you're definitely trouble" There's no script that will get amazing results from every type of girl for every man. The message that you write for a party skank is different from an artsy girl is different from a corporate drone, etc.
So if you can’t bring yourself to deny the deity, consider opening yourself up to a whole wacky bunch of them.
But ideally you should just disbelieve the whole thing.
Ultimately 90% of it comes down to what you look like. Just cuts the bullshit since all that matters most the time is your look. I'm black and the majority of the women on each site weren't. I try to pick out one incongruent detail and hope that she will emerge from her shell.
I will say this though, if it's a dating site that has in its messaging service a subject line, I like to put a cliff hanger in there as a way of practically guaranteeing she reads my message. One that ALWAYS ensured a reply back was "I hope you aren't racist". I guess they always replied so that they could validate themselves somewhat so that they don't feel guilty or racist if they didn't reply. I go back and forth on whether asking a question or making a statement is a better opener. Maybe there's a way to get the to respond to a first message, but I think they have a lot of anxiety about in general.
It could be that appearing unsure makes the writer seem more vulnerable and less threatening. But either way: men should be careful not to let the appearance of vulnerability become the appearance of sweaty desperation: , 23%)!
Mentioning your religion helps you, but, paradoxically, it helps you most if you have no religion.
As we all know, people normally like compliments, but when they’re used as pick-up lines, before you’ve even met in person, they inevitably feel…ew.