“Berlin is like Whereas women tend to become more committal as they grow up, men, with no need to stick to a biological schedule, run in the other direction. We had dinner and he invited me to a party afterwards. American artist Sam has a rule of thumb: “The ideal is half your age plus seven.” He’s now 40 and will not date a girl past 30.
“Relationships are more about friends here,” she concludes. And NOT settling down with a woman makes them feel freer, younger or something...” Alice knows something about that: “I was in a six-month relationship with a German man in his forties. ” exclaims Silvia, who says she’s got a problem with all those ‘big boys’ still into playing with drugs, as if that were a girl’s biggest turn-on.
“Maybe in a smaller city, it makes sense to be in a relationship – there’s nothing to do, so you stay home and watch TV together,” says Maria, 27, from Italy, who extricated herself from an entanglement with a man with a girlfriend only to wind up with one who “just got out of a relationship” and didn’t want to get serious. One day he told me he was leaving because he felt he was still young and still had so much more to experience.” Silvia herself has had no shortage of experiences with Peter Pan types. I liked the way he wrote; he sounded humorous and intelligent. “It’s hard to spend one evening with a cool guy without him mentioning drugs off some sorts.” Going out with a 30-year-old feels too ‘grown-up’ for these men.
They’re here to stretch their wings, not to start nesting.
Silvia acknowledges: “I know I get attracted to the wrong guys” – but then, as an expat and a Neuköllner, it’s hard for her to meet anyone else. They’re attractive, but in the long run, they’re not sustainable.” She says she had to drop out of a two-year relationship that got her frustrated time and time again.
Focus on available, straight men in that age group, and the pool of prospects shrinks dramatically. ” Anna, a 35-year-old freelance illustrator from Spain, can’t count her experiences with ‘taken’ guys. “She’s out of the picture, they haven’t talked in years, but her stuff is still in his flat.
“I asked a friend of mine if he had any friends in Berlin he could set me up with, so he scrolled through his phone contacts,” remembers Sarah, an American musician in her late twenties. “I had this one guy who still lived with his wife although they were separated – for the kids, he said. That’s the thing with guys here, especially Germans.
“Sex or casual affairs are no problem, but when it comes to relationships, forget about it!
” “I made up my mind,” she adds, only half-jokingly.
All in all, one of the last people you’d expect to have trouble finding a steady date. Three consecutive years...” She’s in a relationship at the moment, but calls it “confusing”. I remember being on date with a nice Swiss guy and then just as he started to kiss me, I stopped and asked: ‘Do you have someone? They’re always occupied, and when they’re not – they’re full of shit. ” It’s no secret that finding love in a big city isn’t easy, especially if you’re a woman who’s looking to settle down. Especially if you’re a female, even remotely attractive. “I’ve been here for three years – three years single!
Coming from France, where men do flirt, to encounter the legendary passivity of German men was a crushing blow. ’ Of course he did – back home.” “Do you know the joke? But Berlin has its own special factors that make this already difficult goal nigh-on impossible. Waiting at the bus stop, ordering a coffee, in the elevator, grocery shopping – it is literally raining dick. ” exclaims Simona, a 29-year-old from the Czech Republic who works in the film business, with a jaded smile.
It is hard to imagine a future with a guy when you’re the one to foot the bill every time you go for a drink.” All you can eat But there are other reasons for not settling down in Berlin, where the panoply of available options extends to more than just creative ones. “Berlin is full of pretty girls – look at the streets of Neukölln, hot 25-year-olds everywhere.