Some reports indicate the relationship between the married couple was already over by the time Cowell moved in. While many details remain unknown, this revelation raises a question: Is your friend’s ex always off-limits?
“If your friend is totally over his ex, has no romantic feelings for her, and wouldn’t mind being around the two of you socially, that could work,” muses Nina Atwood, author of “Temptations of the Single Girl.” “But look at all the conditions that have to be met!
The reality is that it’s just too weird and uncomfortable for most people to want to deal with.” Therapist Karen Sherman agrees.
“If they begin to date the woman you were seeing, it can feel like an extra knife in the back. My rule of thumb is that it's fine unless it is a very good friend.
Particularly if you were in a long-term relationship with her,” he says. If it's just an acquaintance from work, and he dated a woman you like, they broke up, then there is no reason why you couldn't date her,” says Sebastian Callow, a London-based dating coach for men. Experts recommend considering how long your friend and his ex dated (anything over six months is tricky territory as the emotional ties tend to be stronger); how old you are (one expert suggested that in our twenties, perceived slights carry more weight than when we're older and “more realistic”); why you're interested (do you lack the self confidence to approach a stranger?
“And keep in mind that your friend is most likely going to say 'go ahead', even if he doesn't mean it,” she says.
During the conversation, pay attention to your friend's non-verbal communication.
But what if you really, really fancy Sally, to the point you're picturing sleepy Sundays and all sorts of lovely, luscious romance? ); how much stress you're willing to endure; and ultimately what the friendship is worth.
“Friendships typically last a hell of a lot longer than romantic relationships, particularly 'potential' romantic relationships.More times than not, going after your buddy’s ex is off limits and fully violates any type of guy code by which you might abide.But every once in a while, the universe speaks to a person and lets him know that, although it seems wrong at first, there might be a bigger reason your friend dated this person in the first place – maybe it was to connect the two of you, instead.Nana points to the story of her friend Katie, a 27-year-old Londoner who lost a friendship when an ex got involved. Tell him what his friendship means to you,” suggests Irene La Cota, president of dating agency It's Just Lunch International.If you're swept up in love and you simply must date the ex of a close friend, experts recommend you sit your friend down. Even if it hurts your pride, check with him that it's OK. La Cota stresses the conversation is worth having if you really think the girl might be your 'special someone'.“On paper, it sounds like an absolutely horrendous idea, and something most good friends would try to avoid like the plague,” notes Michael Valmont, a dating and social coach.